Okay, Let's Do This Thing

Listen, I want to have a kid.

I'd like that kid to be quippy, intelligent, and fun to hang out with. Basically, my dream is to have a make-believe kid from a tv show (think Brendan on Home Movies). However, I fully realize that we're more likely to have a kid who's demanding, needy, and exhausting.

Despite this fact, we're pressing on. My husband and I had "the talk" a couple evenings ago. There are a handful of momentous discussions that couples go through in life--where their relationship is going (ie-so, are we doing this marriage thing?), whether or not they should stop renting and sell their souls to the mortgage gods (ie-so, are we doing this house thing?), and the one we had on Monday (ie-so, really? are we doing this baby thing?). We obviously decided on, "To hell with it, let's do this."

Now, here's the thing--I'm not really the pregnancy type. I'm not someone who gets excited when babies are in the room. I get annoyed easily by little kids. When a two year-old hands me some toy off the floor for the 20th time and wants me to act excited about it, I play along for the sake of the parent who's watching me, but secretly wish that they'd tell their kid to "move along and stop bothering our guest." When an eleven year-old starts thinking that they're mature enough to understand you and provide commentary on your wardrobe, musical taste, and social life, I have to work hard to keep my eyes from rolling right out of my head.

So, why do I want a kid, then? Well, for the same reasons that most people want them, I suppose--biology, seeing my husband and me in someone new, watching him be a dad, teaching someone all about the things that I love. Mostly, though, I just know that I'd always regret it if I didn't. I may not be able to imagine myself as the parent of a little baby right now, but I can definitely see myself as a teenager's mom, as a friend and confidant to my twenty-something who is being shit on by life and needs an ear and some advice, and as a grandparent (the one who doesn't give them crap about their dyed hair or stupid concert t-shirts). I really think I'd be good at all of those things, and that's why I'm willing to put up with pregnancy, child birth, and taking care of an infant. It's a necessary step in order to get to all the good stuff.

Besides, babies smell good.

So, starting in three weeks, the man and I will be taking shot #1 at starting our family. I'm excited and scared shitless, all at once.

But, whatever.

Let's do this thing.